More reasons for sayings.

QUOTE from J.P. Morgan: "I made a fortune by getting out of the stock market too soon."


I LEARNED some more reasons for sayings. According to the book LIFE IN THE 1500s" they all originated in Europe in the 1500s.

Pork was a luxury in the 1500s. If people had bacon, they would hang up a slab to show it off. It was an honor to be able to "BRING HOME THE BACON."
When company came, a man would slice off a little for each guest and they would sit around and "CHEW THE FAT."

Loaves of bread were divided according to status. Workers got the bottom of the loaf (often scorched), the family got the middle and guests got the top or the "UPPER CRUST."

In England, it was discovered that some coffins that were reopened after several years had scratch marks inside indicating the person had not been dead when buried. So they tied a string to the wrist of each person that led to a bell above the ground. Someone was assigned to sit at night and listen for the bells, which created the expressions,"GRAVEYARD SHIFT" and "SAVED BY THE BELL."

Whiskey was drunk from lead cups, the combination sometimes knocked people cold. If found on the road, they would be taken home and laid on the kitchen table. The family would gather around and wait and see if they would wake up. This was called "HOLDING A WAKE."


HUMOR for today:

A class reunion is a time when men and women travel great distances to be with people they haven't seen in 20 years.
Then they soon discover that 20 years is too often.

Reasons for sayings.

QUOTE from Guideposts reader, Elly Derr, of Auburn, GA: "Those who judge us don't matter. Those who matter don't judge us."

I've been hearing the following sayings ever since I was a kid. I LEARNED today where they originated. Most came out of Europe in the 1500s.

"IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS." This saying started because most houses had straw roofs with no wood underneath. Cats and dogs would sit on the roof in cold weather. But if it rained, the roof became slippery and the cats and dogs would slide off.

Those people are "DIRT POOR." In Europe in the 1500s only the wealthy had floors made of something other than dirt, which resulted in the expression "dirt poor."

"THE GROOM CARRIED HIS NEW BRIDE OVER THE THRESHOLD." Rich people had slate floors. They put thresh on them when they got wet and slippery, but often the thresh would slip outside. So they placed a piece of wood at the entrance which became known as the "thresh hold."

DON'T THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATH WATER." In a tub of water, the man took the first bath, then his wife and children. The baby was last. Hence this expression.

(On my next post I will have some more.)

HUMOR for today.

Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the universe are pointed away from Earth?

How do the elderly know when they've been in the pool too long?

Breakfast trivia.

QUOTE from THE POWER OF SMALL: WHY THE LITTLE THINGS MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval: "Focusing on the tiniest details, finding magic in even the smallest inspirations, embracing the briefest moments - that's where the passion is."

I love to LEARN about trivial stuff from history. Like the quote said "focusing on the tiniest details", is what makes history come alive for me. I read in PARADE MAGAZINE some historical details about "BREAKFAST". The case for eating breakfast is well known in the medical field. It is known and proven that eating breakfast can keep your heart healthy, help with the waistline and prevent obesity, sharpen your memory and helps regulate blood sugar reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes.

So what did I LEARN about breakfast.

1. In the 1600s the Pilgrims used to drink a pint of beer or hard cider for breakfast along with some corn mush (maize porridge)they learned how
to make from the Native Americans. Beer and cider was safer to drink than the not-so-drinkable water.

2. In the 1700s immigrants from the Netherlands introduced "obiebollen" (oil balls), to America's breakfast table. We now know them as doughnuts. These deep-fried dollops of dough later became ring-shaped as part of an effort to speed production time and solve the soggy-middle problem.

3. We've all had corn flakes at one time or another for breakfast. Where did corn flakes come from? The answer is in 1902 Dr. John Kellogg and his brother, Will, baked up the first batch of corn flakes in a sanitarium in Battle Creek, Mich, which at that time was a mecca for health enthusiasts who avoided meat and fretted about digestion. Kellogg was a pioneer in proclaiming grains a healthy food and his ideas spread around
the world.

4.William Howard Taft was our largest president, weighing in the neighorhood of 350 pounds. He was also a big breakfast eater. In 1906, two years before he became president, Taft was observed eating breakfast in Savannah, GA. Taft ate shrimp with hominy, potted partridge, broiled venison, waffles with maple syrup, hot rolls, and a grapefruit. No wonder he was a 350 pounder.

5. However, the Breakfast of Champions goes to Olympic eight gold medal winner Michael Phelps. His standing breakfast during the Beijing Olympics was as follows:
a. Three fried egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise;
b. Two cups of coffee;
c. One five-egg omelet;
d. One bowl of grits;
e. Three slices of French toast topped with sugar;
f. And three chocolate chip cookies.

Phelps said he consumed 12,000 calories a day but with his rigorous training he burned them off. He is definitely The Breakfast of Champions.

Like I said this kind of historical trivia is interesting stuff to me.

HUMOR for today. This isn't so funny but it shows how dumb some people are.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer: A Florida bank refused to let a man born without arms cash his wife's check even though he'd provided two forms of identification. The reason given: He couldn't provide a thumbprint.

A DVD we should all see.

QUOTE from Pete Bungum and Clint Eastwood: "The reason, in my retirement, I haven't turned into a couch potato is that I want to learn something new every day. The brain has to be exercised the same as the rest of the body. It's about expanding, constantly pushing yourself."

So what did I LEARN today? I LEARNED a lot about the causes of our recession. My son Brad told me about a film that was made explaining how the global economic crisis of 2008 was created (he saw it on a plane ride to the U.S.) The name of the documentary film is "INSIDE JOB" and is narrated by Matt Damon. It was not shown at theaters but was shown at film festivals in Cannes, Telluride, Toronto and New York. I found a DVD copy at Menards the other day, it costs $20.00.

INSIDE JOB exposes the shocking truth behind the economic crisis of 2008. Through extensive research and interviews with major financial insiders, politicians and journalists (many of those involved in creating the crisis refused to be interviewed). The film traces the rise of a rogue industry and unveils the corrosive relationships which have corrupted politics, regulations and academia. It takes us through all five presidents since the 1980s and the role each played in bringing about this crisis; the five presidents include Reagan, H.W. Bush, Clinton, G.W. Bush and Obama.

I've viewed it once and am going to watch it again or maybe three times. It is not political and treats all five presidents in a very nonpartisan manner. If you readers get a chance to buy a copy you would be doing yourself a favor. You will learn so much about the truth of our financial mess. If you do buy a copy then share it with as many people as you can.

I would like to have every American see this documentary film. I grarantee it will make you furious about what money, greed and deregulation has done to America.


HUMOR for today. Sigmund Freud said. "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."

It's all HUMOR today.

QUOTE FROM ANANYMOUS: "We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing."

It's all HUMOR today. I take a magazine entitled THE JOKER. My latest edition had some pretty good ones that I'll share today.

George Bernard Shaw wrote a note to Winston Churchill. The note said, "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....if you have one."
Winston replied< "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
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Mae West said, "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
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An elderly man was stopped by the police at 1 AM. The officer asked, "Where are you going at this hour of the night?"
"I'm going to a lecture on the subject of alcohol abuse and the effects that it has on the human body."
Policeman says, "Oh really! And who is giving this lecture at 1 o'clock in the morning?"
"That would be my wife."
___________________________________________________
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay ME till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for the new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter.
I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
EVERY SENATOR OR REPRESENTATIVE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.
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'I don't mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just BS."
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A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change the 'y' in baby to an 'i' and add the 'es'."
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A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking arould here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of about 15 pages, that it indeed says HEBREWS.
__________________________________________________
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers - what you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.
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Hope you got few laughs today. Laughter is good medicine.

HOW TO TALK HOSPITAL

QUOTE from a sign in front of a Florida funeral home: "We would rather do business with 1,000 Al Qaeda terrotists than with one American soldier."

From the Reader's Digest I LEARNED some slang terms used by doctors and nurses behind our backs and behind the backs of their colleagues.

Here they are:

AXE, BLADE, SLASHER - A surgeon.
BABY CATCHER - An obstetrician.
BANANA - A patient with jaundice.
BUNNY BOILER - A dangerously obsessive or unbalanced woman. From the film FATAL ATTRACTION.
CAPTAIN KANGAROO - Chief pediatrician.
COFFIN DODGER - Someone who survived against expectations.
FOREVERECTOMY - A surgical procedure that lasts a very long time.
HOUSE RED - Blood.
OBE - Open at both ends (diarrhea and vomiting).
REAR ADMIRAL - A proctologist.
SHADOW GAZER - a radiologist.
SPARK 'EM - to defribrillate a patient.
STREAM TEAM - The urology department.

These are quite interesting and funny. I'm going to check with my niece Shelley in Brainard, Minnesota, to see what she knows about these and if she has some to add to the list.

HUMOR today comes from the Life's Funny section in The Reader's Digest. A lady from Syracuse sent this to the Digest.

She said her mother was reading about immigrants taking the oath of citizenship when she noticed something interesting. Her mother said,"Look at the list of names, they're all foreigners."

HOW TO WRITE A CONDOLENCE NOTE.

QUOTE from Martha Stewart: "My new motto is, when you're through changing, you're through."


Ruth Ann and I are getting to the age when many of our family, friends, and acquaintances are passing away. Which means we are sending more and more sympathy cards. One of the hardest things for me to do is to find the appropriate words to write on the card. But the Reader's Digest had an article entitled, "How to Write a Condolence Note." So I LEARNED some helpful tips for what to write.

Here is the article.

What you say and how much you say depend on how close you are to the deceased or to the family. But, as with a thank-you note, a few well-chosen handwritten sentences will generally suffice.

Phrases like "I'm so sorry," "He was the model of the man I hope to become," and "I'll miss her too," will help you connect with the recipient. According to the Emily Post Institute, you needn't restrict yourself to expressions of sympathy. If you have a favorite anecdote about the deceased or some particular memory you cherish, by all means, include it.

But AVOID COMMENTS like "She's in a better place," "It was God's will," and "At least he isn't suffering anymore."
Leave that for the bereaved to say - when they're ready.

(These are some good words for me to remember when I write the next one.)

HUMOR for today. This is a good one.

It is called "PERIOD."

THE KINDERGARTEN CLASS HAD A HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT TO FIND OUT ABOUT SOMETHING EXCITING AND RELATE IT TO THE CLASS THE NEXT DAY

WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR THE LITTLE KIDS TO GIVE THEIR REPORTS, THE TEACHER WAS CALLING ON THEM ONE AT A TIME.

SHE WAS RELUCTANT TO CALL UPON LITTLE JOHNNY, KNOWING THAT HE SOMETIMES COULD BE A BIT CRUDE. BUT EVENTUALLY HIS TURN CAME.

LITTLE JOHNNY WALKED TO THE FRONT OF THE CLASS, AND WITH A PIECE OF CHALK, MADE A SMALL WHITE DOT ON THE BLACKBOARD, THEN SAT BACK DOWN. WELL THE TEACHER COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT JOHNNY HAD IN MIND FOR HIS REPORT ON SOMETHING EXCITING, SO SHE ASKED HIM JUST WHAT THAT WAS.

"IT'S A PERIOD," REPORTED JOHNNY.

"WELL I CAN SEE THAT," SHE SAID. "BUT WHAT IS SO EXCITING ABOUT A PERIOD."

"DAMNED IF I KNOW," SAID JOHNNY, "BUT THIS MORNING MY SISTER SAID SHE MISSED ONE. THEN DADDY HAD A HEART ATTACK, MOMMY FAINTED AND THE MAN NEXT DOOR SHOT HIMSELF."