It's all HUMOR today.

QUOTE FROM ANANYMOUS: "We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing."

It's all HUMOR today. I take a magazine entitled THE JOKER. My latest edition had some pretty good ones that I'll share today.

George Bernard Shaw wrote a note to Winston Churchill. The note said, "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....if you have one."
Winston replied< "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
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Mae West said, "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
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An elderly man was stopped by the police at 1 AM. The officer asked, "Where are you going at this hour of the night?"
"I'm going to a lecture on the subject of alcohol abuse and the effects that it has on the human body."
Policeman says, "Oh really! And who is giving this lecture at 1 o'clock in the morning?"
"That would be my wife."
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Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay ME till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for the new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter.
I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
EVERY SENATOR OR REPRESENTATIVE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.
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'I don't mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just BS."
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A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change the 'y' in baby to an 'i' and add the 'es'."
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A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking arould here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of about 15 pages, that it indeed says HEBREWS.
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Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers - what you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.
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Hope you got few laughs today. Laughter is good medicine.