Pete's BLOG-Day 26,447. How to piss off a DANE.

Today is Tuesday, April 16, 2013. My stats today: 10 minutes of yoga, 10 minutes on the ball and 51 minutes of walking = 2.8 miles for an April total of 32.8 miles. My weight was 161.6 pounds.

Inspiring QUOTE from OUR IOWA Magazine: "The day the Lord created hope is probably the same day He created spring."

My THOUGHTS today are about article I read yesterday that was posted on son Brad's Facebook. Since Brad has lived in Denmark since 1990 some guy thought it would be fun to let Brad read this article entitled, HOW TO PISS OFF A DANE. I found it funny as we have been to Denmark over a dozen times and are well acquainted with Danish culture. I'll split up the six ways into three posts today and three tomorrow.

Danes do not like to be bothered in public. The unwritten rule in Denmark is known as  PIPA - which means "Privacy in Public Act." Stepping out of line in public is one of the easiest ways to provoke anger in this flock of stoic Scandinavians. Here are the first 3 tactics on "How to piss a Dane."

Tactic #1: Ask "How are you?"
To ask a Dane "How are you?' and then walk away without waiting for an answer is a source of amusement for the Danes. If you want to make a friend in Denmark, ask this question when you have 5-10 minutes to spare. If you ask it merely in passing/greeting that Dane will probably think you're the most insincere person on the planet.

Tactic #2: Speak their language.
Learning to speak the Danish language is very hard  because of the difficulty in learning the accent. The combination of guttural "r's" and soft "d's" make developing the proper accent a lifetime. achievement. Everybody in Denmark under age 50-60 can speak English. So it is easier for waiter/waitress, barista, store clerk, or cashier to take your order in English than for them to try to understand your Danish. So it you want to piss them off try to speak Danish. The author wrote;  "Danes speak English, Americans know Danes speak English, and Danes know that Americans know we speak English.

Tactic #3: Fail to signal in the bike lane.
Bike etiquette in Denmark is designed to operate like a well-oiled machine. Point low to the right or left if you plan to turn, hold your right hand next to you face if you're planning to stop and pass only in the left lane. If you're biking and you fail to signal you will trigger a chain reaction of last-minute braking and a string of surprisingly violent hisses from passing bikers. Danes work 37-hour weeks, have free healthcare, free childcare, have a minimum wage over $20 an hour and the government pays for their college education. Your failure to signal is probably the worst thing that's happened to them in years.