Good News - My life expectancy.

QUOTE from Lewis Gizzard: "Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease."


I LEARNED yesterday that I'm expected to live to be 97 years old. How did I learn that? Here is the story.
I'm now seventy and half years old. When you reach this age you have to start drawing money out of your IRA. So I called the bank yesterday and talked to Marilyn Heiken at Citizens State Bank in Wyoming, IA. That is where we have our IRA. It is now time to follow federal law and start withdrawing a certain amount of money every year and reinvest in something else. Marilyn told me she would have to get the chart out to see how much we had to withdraw.

She read the chart and said, "Tthe chart tells me I have to divide 26.5 into your total amount." She did the figuring and said you'ill have to withdraw this amount this year. Next year she said I'll have to divide 25.6 into your total amount, the nest year it will be 24.7, and then 23.8 the next year, etc.

I asked her what those numbers mean. She said the 26.5 means you are expected to live another 26.5 years, and next year your life expectancy will be 25.6 years. I told her that was really good news as that means I'll be 97 yrears old when I kick the bucket. We both had a good laugh.

I don't have to go see Marilyn until my birthday in November. She said as long as you start withdrawing  in the year you turn 70 1/2  you're okay. So even though I'll be 71 in November it won't be a problem.


HUMOR for today:  In prison you spend most of your time looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.