HOW TO TALK HOSPITAL

QUOTE from a sign in front of a Florida funeral home: "We would rather do business with 1,000 Al Qaeda terrotists than with one American soldier."

From the Reader's Digest I LEARNED some slang terms used by doctors and nurses behind our backs and behind the backs of their colleagues.

Here they are:

AXE, BLADE, SLASHER - A surgeon.
BABY CATCHER - An obstetrician.
BANANA - A patient with jaundice.
BUNNY BOILER - A dangerously obsessive or unbalanced woman. From the film FATAL ATTRACTION.
CAPTAIN KANGAROO - Chief pediatrician.
COFFIN DODGER - Someone who survived against expectations.
FOREVERECTOMY - A surgical procedure that lasts a very long time.
HOUSE RED - Blood.
OBE - Open at both ends (diarrhea and vomiting).
REAR ADMIRAL - A proctologist.
SHADOW GAZER - a radiologist.
SPARK 'EM - to defribrillate a patient.
STREAM TEAM - The urology department.

These are quite interesting and funny. I'm going to check with my niece Shelley in Brainard, Minnesota, to see what she knows about these and if she has some to add to the list.

HUMOR today comes from the Life's Funny section in The Reader's Digest. A lady from Syracuse sent this to the Digest.

She said her mother was reading about immigrants taking the oath of citizenship when she noticed something interesting. Her mother said,"Look at the list of names, they're all foreigners."