A lesson about flatulence.

QUOTE from President Dwight D. Eisenhower: "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed."

Today was another LEARNING day. I got curious the other day when eating a sandwich. My mind wanted to know how a sandwich got the name sandwich. I answered that yesterday. Yesterday, while passing an inordinate amount of gas my mind got to wandering, why is this happening? So I did some research and found some answers. I went to my book that has the title, "WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini." It was written by Dr. Billy Goldberg and and a writer named Mark Leyner. Here is what Dr. Goldberg had to say about flatulence.

Most people pass gas about fourteen times a day and women pass gas as much as men.. An average fart is composed of about 50% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% of its makeup is what makes your gas smell. The gas that makes them smell is the hydrogen sulfide gas.The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more they will smell. And it is possible to ignite a fart. The flammable character is due to hydrogen and methane. Dr. Goldbeeg said there is danger in igniting flatulence but fraternity guys don't seem to care.

The most famous flatulence producing food is beans. The doctor said the reason is that beans contain high percentages of sugars that our bodies are unable to digest. When these sugars make it to our intestines, bacteria go to work and start producing large amounts of gas.We also form gas from other sources, including the air we swallow, gas that seeps into our intestines from the bloodstream, and carbon dioxide formed from saliva reacting with stomach acid.

Other flatugenic foods are broccoli, brussel sprouts, cooked cabbage, raw apples, radishes, onions, cucumbers, melons, coffee, peanuts, eggs, oranges, tomatoes, strawberries, milk, and raisins. After reading this list I realized why I was having an explosive day yeaterday. In the previous three days I had eaten 11 of the 17 flatulence producing foods. I had eaten: broccoli, raw apples, onions, cucumbers (from Ruth Ann's pickles), coffee, peanuts, eggs (from Ruth Ann's potato salad), oranges, tomatoes (from Ruth Ann's salsa), strawberries (I put on my breakfast cereal), and milk. NO WONDER I was a big GAS PRODUCER.

Notice the abundance of vegetables. Is it possible that vegetarians ..............???????


HUMOR for today is from Larry the Cable Guy:
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience  is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.