COLONOSCOPY HUMOR

QUOTE from Harry S. Truman: " I want a one-armed economist so that the guy could never make a statement and then say "on the other hand..."

What I LEARNED today: I learned what a "saluki" is. I turned on the radio today and there was a Missouri Valley basketball game being broadcast between the Southern Illinois Salukis and the Southeast Missouri Bears. I didn't really care who won the game but I did have a question - "What the heck is a saluki?" I used my encyclopedia and found an answer, a saluki is a DOG. They are members of the greyhound family and are also known as Persian greyhounds. The saluki resembles a greyhound with fringed ears, legs, and tail. They are extremely fast and raced in some countries. A saluki is a gazehound, meaning it hunts by sight rather than scent. So I learned not only what a saluki is but also a gazehound - it was doubleheader day.

Colonoscopy HUMOR today: Any of you who have had a colonoscopy will be able to relate to these comments. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (mostly male) while performing their colonoscopies. I found these in THE JOKER MAGAZINE.

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me now?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Alabama, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. 'Hey, Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit."
10. "You used to be executive at Enron, didn't you?"
AND THE BEST ONE OF ALL......
11. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"